Why?

If I were to ask you one simple question could you provide the answer?
Please answer me, I must know
If I were to shatter right here, right now, would you care?
All people seem to breath are lies
Is there at least one that can see me?
I stare silently at the rain through school windows
You play it like a scene from a drama
But how do you fight tears that don’t come?
The moment of truth is splattered on the walls
Like paint that will never dry
Do you ignore the feeling of your back pressed against wet color?
Or can you feel it seeping in the cloth?
I fight myself every day, as I step on shards of the past with bare feet
Forced smiles like regurgitated food
Sickening and hard to swallow back down
You live in your world of self-pity; do you ever see the people with the wicked smiles?
Maybe I want to be noticed, maybe you don’t understand.
But sooner or later it’s over, and I don’t want to miss you again.
When everything’s failed me again, I don’t want the world to see me, because I don’t think that they’d understand.
I can’t pry myself open and show you, though I’d like to make you see.
Even if inside is ugly, I just want you to know who I am.